Unfortunately, many parents are not strangers to their teen getting bullied. If your teen has an ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) the likelihood that they are getting bullied increases. Autism Speaks tells us that 60 percent of students with disabilities report being bullied regularly compared with 25 percent of all students.

However, switching schools may not resolve the issue. Although the school changes, the underlying reason your teen was getting bullied in the first place may not change, and the reason must always be considered. As parents, we always want to blame the bully, forgetting to consider the other side of the equation – our teenagers. What causes bullies to pick on our teens?

What causes bullies to pick on others

Well, usually students get bullied because of differences in power, whether they be real (physical or age difference) or perceived (more or less popular or more/less clever), or in the case of students with an ASD, because they’re “different.” If your teen is picked on enough, they may even begin to believe they are what the bully portrays them to be. Therefore, these issues can carry over into the next school, where they are the newcomer entering new territory. On several occasions, we’ve heard stories from parents switching from one public school to another public school, hoping that running away from the bully will alleviate the problem, only to be disappointed as the same issues arise in the new school.

If a student with an ASD is always perceived as “different” in the public school setting, they’ll never feel “normal” in a public school. Of course, switching to a private school for specializing in special education doesn’t guarantee anything. However, it does put your student in an environment where everyone is similar to them, where they’re more likely to make friends, not be secluded from the rest, and where differences are embraced.

Before giving up on the current school, you can try to address the problem.

If your student is being bullied, here are some tips on how to address the issue

• Figure out what your schools’ policy is on bullying and the measures they can take to address it. Work with teachers to see how they manage bullying. Follow up with the school to hold them accountable.

• Help build your teen’s resilience and self-esteem. Going to a counselor or work with the school counselor to help your student gain the confidence they need to not let the bullying get to them.

• Always listen to your teenager – don’t brush the issue under the rug. Take them seriously. If bullying goes ignored, it can negatively impact your student’s confidence, ability to learn & make friends, causing longer-term damage.

• Give your teen opportunities to practice how they would react in difficult situations. Be cognizant of when and how they deal with negative situations, give them feedback and positive praise.

Questions to ask when deciding if it’s time to change schools

Aside from bullying, there are many important factors to consider before making a change. Here are some helpful questions you can ask yourself when determining if it’s time to make a change.

• Is this school implementing my teen’s most important needs as spelled out in his/her IEP/ILP?

• Do the teachers and staff treat my teen as a welcome member of the school community, or as a chore for them to address each day?

• Is my teen succeeding academically?

• Are efforts being made to proactively address academic problems?

• Does my teen have friends? (Not just people who are polite, but people he/she spends time with outside of school?)

• Am I able to be a strong educational advocate for my teenager, checking in frequently, assessing progress, and ensuring his/her needs are met? Does the school support my involvement?

• Does my teen enjoy going to school?

  These are great questions for reflecting & considering the pros and cons of the current situation. Contact us if you are considering a switch to a private school for students with autism.