5 Musts for Making Friends: A Guide for Teens With Autism

A Guide to Building Connections

Friendship is about so much more than simply being nice. It’s about finding and building upon a connection you have with someone else that can bring both of you support, memories, understanding, and so much more. Creating and helping friendships grow can be hard for anyone and teens with autism are no exception. If it feels like making friends has been challenging for you, our guide is here to help you understand where to start when it comes to making new friends. 

1. Understanding Social Cues

Social cues, like facial expressions and body language, are crucial for communication. They help people express their feelings without having to say it explicitly. It may be difficult for neurodivergent teens to understand how and when to notice and use these cues. 

Start by observing others and practice recognizing social signals. Notice how people smile or use different tones of voice and intonation when excited. Note how people act and speak in different situations, then practice them yourself. 

And if you're unsure, it's always okay to ask. By improving your ability to notice and use social cues, you can respond appropriately in different situations, which helps people know you are paying attention and acknowledging how they are feeling.

It’s also important to note that everyone makes mistakes in understanding facial and body cues sometimes! So don’t feel discouraged by a misunderstanding, keep going! Practice makes better.

2. Start with Shared Interests

Finding common ground is key to making friends. If you have a specific hobby or interest, like a particular book, video game, or TV show, use that as a starting point to meet others. You can join school or community clubs or online communities where people share your passions.

When you meet someone new, it’s important to learn about their interests, too. Ask open-ended questions. For example, instead of saying “Do you like The Office?” ask “What’s your favorite TV show?” Listen to what the person has to say, give your opinion if you’d like, and discover things you have in common. Having something in common is a great way to connect with others, which is the foundation of any friendship.

If the person you’re talking to doesn’t seem to have a lot of shared interests with you, that’s perfectly fine! It’s always good to practice asking questions and listening. The more people you talk to, the more opportunities you have to find new friends!

3. Practice Conversational Give & Take

Good conversations are a balance of talking and listening. Avoid talking about a single topic too long, even if it’s something you love. Instead, after a few minutes, ask the other person a question and show genuine interest in their response. This back-and-forth creates a flow that keeps the conversation engaging and enjoyable for both parties.

Remember, most social behaviors are learned! Just like you learned to say “please” and “thank you,” you can learn good conversation skills. They might feel unnatural at first, but with practice, they’ll easily become part of how you interact with others.

4. Build Self-Confidence

Confidence is key to social success, but it doesn’t always come easily. Like any skill you build, it can take effort and practice. One way is to practice (over and over and over) little social behaviors, like smiling, energetic greetings, or asking good questions, until these skills become second nature. Practicing these in safe or low-pressure environments, like with family or in a store, can also help build your confidence.

Another way to build confidence is with positive self-talk and positive actions. Make a note of what you have to be thankful for, anything from your haircut to your baseball card collection to your family, and find one thing that you like about yourself every day. You can also practice spreading positivity through your actions, whether you compliment someone or help your neighbor mow their lawn, these types of positive actions can help you feel accomplished and helpful, building your confidence in yourself.

Lastly, shift your focus when meeting others from "What will others think of me?" to "What can I bring to this interaction with others?" You’ll feel less pressure and more in control when you know what questions or interests you want to share. This mindset will help you approach social interactions with a more confident attitude.

5. Join Supportive Communities

Finding the right environment can make all the difference. A community filled with people who share similar interests and experiences as you is a great way to make connections and build friendships. At PS Academy Arizona, we understand the challenges neurodivergent teens face in social situations. Our programs are designed to help you build confidence, learn social skills, and connect with peers who appreciate you for who you are. Through sports, clubs, and other activities, you’ll connect with others in a setting made to support you!

Final Thoughts

Making friends as a teen with autism can be challenging, but with the right strategies, it can get easier with practice. By learning to read  social cues, building confidence, and finding communities with similar interests, you can form meaningful connections that enrich your life. Like most good things, friendships take time, so be patient with yourself and keep putting yourself out there. You’ve got this!

For more resources and support, or to learn how PS Academy Arizona can help you thrive in a school environment built to help you achieve your best, visit our website or reach out to us. We’re here to make sure you succeed in and out of school!